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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.

CANOODLING WITH A CANUCK IN A CANOE?

–Or, Welcome to Climax, Saskatchewan!

Canada is a pretty straight-laced, peaceful place, where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day, except for eleven and a half months of the year affectionately called “winter”, (when everyone goes inside for a break from the bugs, barking dogs, or far too many exposed bosoms and buttocks — euphemistically referred to as “bare essentials”).

So, one might casually ask … if the deer and antelope are out prancing about on the back forty, while the beaver are bustling about making dams all day long, and the blessed birds are freezing their little tails off busking for a living in downtown Toronto …what pray tell are the citizens of this fine country doing to have a good time (besides playing hockey …or hooky as the case may be)?

Well, judging from the pleasantly playful yet provocative placenames dotting the deepfreeze landscape called Canada, perhaps the reader will be able judge just what pastimes pique the curiosity of a Canuck.

– Ass Hill (Newfoundland)
– Bareneed (Newfoundland)
– Bath (New Brunswick)
– Begin (Quebec)
– Beamsville, Ontario
– Belly River (Alberta)
– Big Bras d’Or (Nova Scotia)
– Billy Butts Pond (Newfoundland)
– Blissville (New Brunswick)
– Bonanza (Alberta)
– Buttonville (Ontario)
– Carrying Place (Ontario)
– Chance Harbour (Nova Scotia)
– Chase (British Columbia)
– Cherryville (British Columbia)
– Come-By-Chance (Newfoundland)
– Comfort Cove (Newfoundland)
– Community Punch Bowl (Alberta)
– Conception Harbour (Newfoundland)
– Conquest (Saskatchewan)
– Crotch Lake (Ontario)
– Cruise Lake (Ontario)
– Cupids (Newfoundland)
– Curve Lake (Ontario)
– Dipper Harbour (Newfoundland)
– Dixville (Quebec)
– Ebb and Flow (Manitoba)
– Exploits River (Newfoundland)
– Fascination Mountain (British Columbia)
– Fanny Bay (British Columbia)
– Fertile (Saskatchewan)
– Finger (Manitoba)
– Flat Top (Yukon Territories)
– Forget (Saskatchewan)
– Fortune (Newfoundland)
– Freedom (Alberta)
– Fruitvale (British Columbia)
– Funnybone Lake (Ontario)
– Fox Roost (Newfoundland)
– Gander (Newfoundland)
– Good Neighbour Peak (Yukon Territories)
– Grande Entrée (Québec)
– Ha! Ha! Baie des (Québec)
– Halfmoon Bay (British Columbia)
– Halfway Point (Newfoundland)
– Happy Adventure (Newfoundland)
– Happy Valley-Goose Bay (Newfoundland)
– Happyland (Ontario)
– Havelock (Quebec)
– Heart’s Content (Newfoundland)
– Heart’s Delight (Newfoundland)
– Heart’s Desire (Newfoundland)
– Holdfast (Saskatchewan)
– Honey Harbour (Ontario)
– Hooker Mountain (British Columbia)
– Hooping Harbour (Newfoundland)
– Hope (British Columbia)
– Kinkora (Prince Edward Island)
– Lady Slipper (Prince Edward Island)
– Lapland (Nova Scotia)
– Leading Tickles (Newfoundland)
– Liberty (Saskatchewan)
– Likely (British Columbia)
– Little Seldom (Newfoundland)
– Lively (Ontario)
– Love (Saskatchewan)
– Lucifer Mountain (Alberta)
– Lucky Lake (Saskatchewan)
– Lucky Man (Saskatchewan)
– Lulu Island (British Columbia)
– Lushes Bight (Newfoundland)
– Ma-Me-O Beach (Alberta)
– Manyberries (Alberta)
– Meat Cove (Nova Scotia)
– Mermaid (Prince Edward Island)
– Middlesex (Ontario)
– Mink Cove (Nova Scotia)
– Monkland (Ontario)
– Moonbeam (Ontario)
– Newbliss (Ontario)
– Nipawin (Saskatchewan)
– Nipissing (Ontario)
– Nippers Harbour (Newfoundland)
– Nojack (Alberta)
– Nottawa (Ontario)
– Nun’s Island (Prince Edward Island & Quebec)
– Nuttby (Nova Scotia)
– Overflowing River (Manitoba)
– Paradise Point (Ontario)
– Peel (Ontario)
– Pilot Butte (Saskatchewan)
– Pilot Mound (Manitoba)
– Pincher (Alberta)
– Pitt Meadows (British Columbia)
– Pleasantville (Ontario)
– Plenty (Saskatchewan)
– Plum Point (Newfoundland)
– Precious Corners (Ontario)
– Punkeydoodles Corners (Ontario)
– Rapid City (Manitoba)
– Resolute (Nunavut)
– Rosebud (Alberta)
– Rough Top (Yukon Territories)
– Sackville (Nova Scotia)
– St. Jones Within, St. Jones Without (Newfoundland)
– Saint Noel (Québec)
– Sandy Hook (Manitoba)
– Seldom (Newfoundland)
– Sexsmith (Alberta)
– Shag Harbour (Nova Scotia)
– Skookumchuck (British Columbia)
– Smuts (Saskatchewan)
– Snug Haven (Ontario)
– South Dildo (Newfoundland)
– Stag Harbour (Newfoundland)
– Starbuck (Manitoba)
– Star City (Saskatchewan)
– Stupendous Mountain (British Columbia)
– Success (Saskatchewan)
– Sugar Loaf (Nova Scotia)
– Sweet Bay (Newfoundland)
– Sweetland (Nova Scotia)
– Thumb Island (Northwest Territories)
– Tickle Beach, Tickle Cove, Tickle Harbour (Newfoundland)
– Tidal (Manitoba)
– Tiger Lily (Alberta)
– Toogood Arm (Newfoundland)
– Twin Butte (Alberta)
– Unity (Saskatchewan)
– Virgin Arm (Newfoundland)
– Washabuck Centre (Nova Scotia)
– Welcome (Ontario)
– Whim Road (Prince Edward Island)
– Wild Bight, Wild Cove (Newfoundland)
– Winkler (Manitoba)
– Zero Lake (Ontario)
– Zippermouth Lake (British Columbia)

Now, having perused this picturesque placename list, put your imagination on hold for a moment.

Never ever ask a Canadian where they’re from; they adore keeping strangers in the dark (along with other things like mother-in-laws, monster mashers and mushrooms). Stop fretting and just remember — there’s a fun-loving, party animal lurking somewhere beneath that thick skin, fur coat, and titillating tail!

So get on your sparkly duds and dancing shoes, crank up the mood music, and fire-up the microwave for a platter of McCain’s latest piquant-flavored Pizza-Pops!

And if a Canuck should ever invite you for a ride in a canoe …bring along an extra paddle, a box of popcorn and don’t forget to say “Cheese please!” (before snapping the unforgettable photo of that smart-looking Sasquatch!)

About the Author

Theolonius McTavish, a kilted Celt with an aversion to bombastic bagpipe players, Blarney Stone kissers and boisterous beer drinkers, hangs his Tam O’Shanter on a happy hook at The Quipping Queen when he’s not tossing cabers (tree trunks)and compliments (terse titillations) for a living.

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We have all heard a lot on the news recently about books being made digital for all to read. Microsoft is doing a 20-million dollar project in Great Britain and Google is doing several libraries in the United States. There has been some controversy on this issue from authors who receive royalties and booksellers. It is for this reason our Think Tank brought up the topic.

A prominent member in our Think Tank “Swift” said; “I was looking into your idea of the digital library and Goggle’s attempt at putting all existing books on the Internet. I really like this idea as only a small percentage of books remain in print. I have been looking for an out of print book for decades called the Rose and the Labyrinth and have had book searches done all over the world. I have found out that there were 5 books with this title. The one I am looking for dealt with the time Carl Jung spent with minors and his reactions to them. He didn’t write it, but I no longer have the information on the book so don’t remember who the writer is. There are some really wonderful out of print books and no way to access them. I am having problems with the publishing companies who are worried about the copyright infringement issues and the interpretation of “fair use.”

They wouldn’t start with the newest books, I would think; but the books that were no longer protected. What in the heck are they being protected from? No one is going to pretend they wrote them for crying out loud. After this length of time, I’ll read any book names the Rose and the Labyrinth and pretend it was the book that was referred to me by Jung’s last student before he died. I really like the idea of a mine being a labyrinth–so did my father.

Well I certainly see Swift’s point on this issue and we know that currently we are very busy digitizing humankind’s written knowledge from books to the digital so it can be made available to the world. This is a very wise move as books can decay over years and out of print books are not available to all. By digitizing the known human written knowledge to the world we can conquer the opportunity barriers of those hard chargers who may not have the resources to achieve the upward mobility they seek. As we conquer the digital divide we will be well on our way to giving back the knowledge of the world from the entire Library of Commerce to the human race in an easy to read, search and retrieve format available to all. That will be an excellent day for the human race indeed. Imagine a digital library of the Library of Commerce able to use Super Computer speeds to retrieve all the world’s written books online at a speed of Google or MSN.com. That is to say any book written in any language, anywhere in the world, at anytime, think on that for a second.

By using knowledge and experience this way we can leverage this to prevent failure through understanding results. Those who do not learn from their mistakes, tend to keep from making them. Those who remember the lessons learned from their mistakes successes tend to reason better thru analyzing of their mistakes and trying to figure a way around their problems.

Now then, let me tell you why I believe a society needs digital libraries hooked to all civilizations for faster advancement of the human species as a whole or as one. If you had a problem that needed solving for the betterment of your civilization and you had all the world’s knowledge at your finger tips; that is to say a computer hooked to a system like a World Wide Digital Library, then you would have enhanced your personal knowledge and memory by a million fold. This could help your intelligent quotient at the speed of computer and that coupled with the speed of thought is a major component needed to take mankind to the singularity of an all-knowing, never ending being in this dimension. Think on this.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

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The number of sales of Digital Audio Broadcasting (usually known as DAB) digital radios have of late topped the ten million unit point, meaning that they are a notable choice to purchase. A DAB or Digital Audio Broadcast radio consists of tons of advantages over traditionally radios. For beginners, digital signals are substantially “narrower” hence more stations may be received in the same broadcast spectrum. In most places the choice of stations is in any case doubled. Next, being digital means the signal comes through with superb clarity irrespective of the weather conditions or your specific location, city or village. You won’t miss the drone and crackle of analogue radios that’s for sure!

The computer in the DAB radio finds the digital feed and in effect abolishes any other signal or means of noise, such as electronic equipment being operated nearby. Instead of scrolling through the radio knob, DAB digital radios supply a list of obtainable radio stations which can easily be listened to with one click of a button. The last advantage we’ll mention is the capability to stop a radio broadcast, and then listen to it later on, the same as digital TV.

That is a brief summary of the DAB digital radio evolution. Let’s take a more comprehensive look at the sorts of devices to be had nowadays. They vary a great amount when it comes to features as well as cost; nevertheless we attempt to present you with useful advice that will educate you and steer your purchase.

Entry level DAB radios are tiny and very transportable. Normally having only one speaker, they are very easy to carry around and offer stereo sound when used with the earphones. They often have a three point five mm input to use with either your Apple iPod Shuffle or Archos MP3 machine. Buy a wide selection of technology products such as; DAB radios, Toshiba laptops and Apple laptops from leading brands online.

Taking a step up, tons of inexpensive DAB digital radios come with two speakers for superior sound quality, first-class portability, and MP3 synchronisation. LED displays allow for nippy scroll and selection of the radio programmes you desire. Push the button to play or lock it in as one of your pushbutton selections. There are various manufactured brands providing goods with these specific features as standard.

One or two brands of DAB digital radios also offer Wireless capabilities, which mean that from any available hotspot you can listen to anything available across the entire World Wide Web. That’s very incredible! Next, look for make that comes with DAB, DAB+, FM, and Wi-Fi Internet functions. A great number of new radios also include a chip that makes them forward compatible, which can be useful as technology gets better.

With this in mind, it is vital that you take the time to peruse the superb choice of handheld DAB radios, in addition to in car systems, water-resistant DAB radios, digital alarm clocks and personal hi-fi units. And for the newest DAB digital radio technology consider purchasing an item with record functions employing SD memory cards to store the music files you want to keep.

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Electronic picture frames are the digital family member of the classic photograph album. These electric pieces of technology can be remarkable Xmas presents and are also wonderful when it comes to spoiling your close friends and family, so pull your socks up and dive head-first into the electronic photo frame excitement today.

Why choose a digital photo frame: If you are anything like me you snap countless of digital photos of your family and best friends. The conventional method that people displayed these photos was acquiring picture-album after picture-album. Yet, with the progress of digital cameras, taking those holiday snaps became a lot more cost effective and a lot more images are being taken than ever. A digital photo display means you can save 100s or even thousands of digital snaps inside one device that appears more or less the same as an original photo frame.

What sizes are on offer when it comes to digital photo displays: This day and age you can acquire digital photo frames varying from 5″ all the way through to thirteen inches in size. Digital photo frames are available in a plethora of styles in order to blend in with any apartment or requirement. Digital picture displays are transportable and can easily be put wherever you may require them. Taking snapshots of your kids and your family has never been so simple.

Which features must you be looking out for in a digital photo frame: Typical options that you will definitely require from your digital picture display are a generous amount of built in memory alongside a memory card slot with the ability of working with large-capacity memory cards. Normal photo frames are capable of using SD, SDHC, MMC, MS, XD, CF memory cards in addition to a USB connection that can be used with the interior memory and installed storage card. You are also advised to be on the look out for a long-life battery and high-speed battery charging unit. Some of the modern digital picture frames come with the facility to play videos and include speakers integrated. The quality of the screens are greater than ever and with every generation of photo frames you should look for the highest resolution on the market so that your photographs continuously appear their greatest.

Which photo frame must you opt for: Which make and what size picture frame you opt for hinges entirely on what you require to use it for. If you wish for a smaller item to transport in your backpack then you could look into getting something like one of the small sized picture frames since they are more compact and much simpler to transport. However, if you are trying to find a centrepiece frame to be placed on your mantle then you are without a doubt going to be looking for the largest digital frame that will fit on top of your mantle piece. Irrespective of what the style you have in your house, you are still able to get a picture frame that fits in without any problem.

What amount of money could I presume to pay for a digital photo frame: Worth regularly is dependant on size therefore you will come across prices ranging from £30 all the way to £300. As is the case with any technology items you get what you pay for so skimping on the cost of the frame now possibly will result in regrets at a later date. Find a substantial number of technology products such as; digital photo frames, sat nav and TVs from leading brands online.

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When you are buying pushchairs, it’s extremely important to take account of both your newborn’s demands and your very own lifestyle. Pushchairs are on sale in many different patterns & price ranges, and without carefully analysing the options before you shop; the options can very easily become uncontrollable. Find a range of baby and child products including; puschairs, baby cots and britax car seats from leading brands online.

First, you are recommended to analyse your baby’s particular needs. For a newborn infant, you are likely to need a pushchair with a lie back feature or a pushchair/carrycot combination. If you need to you could perhaps procure a pushchair that contains a reversible seat, which allows your infant to look at you whilst you are pushing. You should also consider where your child will predominantly sleep: a crib, carrycot, or Moses basket. If you are going to get a carrycot, then you may possibly have to obtain a pushchair/carrycot combination in order to reduce the entire amount of additional kit you will have to procure.

Next, you are advised to contemplate your particular lifestyle. If you intend putting the pram in a car, check the boot to ensure that the collapsed pram will go in without difficulty. If you purchase a pushchair that is too big, you’ll spend numerous annoying moments each and every time attempting to fit it in the vehicles boot. Alternatively, you might well think about a multi-function product, which combines an infant car seat and pushchair. This multi-function ability will certainly make it noticeably easier for those responsible to transport your baby in the vehicle, then you can use the pushchair when you are parked, again minimising the overall number of accessory products you will have to drag around with your baby.

For fathers who walk a fair amount, it is important that you ensure you obtain a long-lasting pushchair that has lockable wheels as standard. Also consider the specific type of land you will be pushing your baby over. For example, if you choose swivel wheels, then the pushchair will be appreciably easier to move around in tight locations, whilst fixed wheels will travel much smoother over potholed surfaces. You can also purchase a pram that offers both fixed wheel & swivel wheel options, letting you adjust the wheels when required throughout your journeys. In spite of what preference you choose make certain that the handle is set at a comfortable height. If you & your partner have completely different heights, then try to select a pushchair with a modifiable handle height.

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The total number of sales of Digital Audio Broadcasting (more commonly known as DAB) radios have just topped the ten million unit milestone, meaning that they are a noteworthy option to purchase. A DAB or Digital Audio Broadcast radio consists of an assortment of benefits over conventional analogue manufactured radios. Such as, digital radio signals are considerably “narrower” and for that reason more radio stations may be accessed within a similar broadcast spectrum. In the majority of places the preference of stations is in any case doubled. Next, being digital the transmission comes through with superb clarity despite of the current weather conditions or even your specific location, city centre or countryside. You will not miss the drone and crackle of analogue radios that is for certain!

The system in the DAB digital radio gets hold of the digital signal and in effect abolishes any other kind of signal or means of distortion, for instance electronic equipment being operated close by. Instead of using the radio knob, DAB radios give a list of available stations which can easily be accessed with one push of a button. The final advantage we’ll highlight is the option to stop a radio broadcast, and pick it up at a later date, exactly like digital TV.

That is a brief look into the DAB digital radio evolution. Now, let’s take a more complete look at the various different sorts of DAB radios on sale these days. They vary significantly when it comes to features and in price; nevertheless we try to supply you with an overview that will inform you and guide your purchase.

Basic level DAB digital radios are small and extremely portable. Usually including only 1 speaker, they are particularly easy to carry and offer stereo sound when used with the earphones. They often include a 3.5mm input to use with your iPod Shuffle or Speedo MP3 device.

Taking a step up, plenty of reasonably priced DAB digital radios have two speakers for better sound, good portability, and Apple iPod compatibility. LED screens allow for simple scroll and selection of the radio stations you need. Push the button to play or lock it in as one of your pushbutton options. There are hundreds of makes offering consumer goods with these exact features included.

A small amount of specific items of DAB radios also come with Wi-Fi capabilities, meaning that from any available hotspot you can listen to anything available across the entire Internet. That’s remarkable! Next, look for a machine with DAB, DAB+, FM, and Internet features. Loads of these also come with a chip that makes them forward compatible, which can be handy as equipment gets better. Buy a wide selection of technology products such as; DAB radios, laptop computers and Acer laptops from leading brands online.

Take the time to peruse the amazing assortment of handheld DAB radios, plus in car systems, waterproof DAB digital radios, digital alarm clocks and stereo units. And for the newest DAB radio technology think about acquiring a product with record functions employing SD memory cards to store the audio files you want.

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With Christmas all but here it’s the correct time to begin considering about warming your home. Electric fireplaces are particularly popular and are understood to be one of the best decisions you can get when it comes to combining safety with an efficient heating unit. Find a selection of electrical products such as; electric fires, dimplex electric fires and ovens from leading brands online.

There are 3 main kinds of electric fireplaces to buy on the market, these include the wall-mounted electric fireplace, the inset fire, and last of all the standalone electric fireplace. Most online e-commerce retail stores that sell electric fires usually carry the key brands such as the Dimplex electric fireplace & the Burley fires.

If room is a key worry in your building then you might possibly want to pick the inset electric fireplace products rather than the free standing electric fireplace. Mainly because are produced to fit right inside a normal sixteen inch or eighteen inch fireplace openings & standard outlets.

Wall-mounted electric fires are superb for rooms where space is a key worry, because they typically take up a noticeable deal less room than many of the common standalone fires. Wall mounted systems often incorporate a fitted surround which really does add lots of splendour to these particular types of electric fire suites.

Last but not least, there is a very special attraction to the freestanding electric fires as many of which look like old made cookers. They are usually as a rule more prudently priced than the fairly high-priced wall mounted or inset electric fire suites. These are just the thing for spaces that will only require to be heated for certain situations & are also very worthwhile as they are portable and so can be carried from room to room should the demand arises.

Generally, at least for the inset or wall-mounted products, you usually purchase the electric fire and surround at the same time. It is possible to get a surround singly, which is helpful if you intend to vary the décor of your home and swap the surround to something that better matches the furniture you currently own.

Electric fires are brilliant and you can definitely save a considerable amount of cash if you purchase a whole electric fire suite. Most of the suites are best suited to wall mounting. If you buy this or any other electric fire on the Web often you are able to get free shipping within the mainland UK, which is definitely an additional advantage for buying on the World Wide Web.

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When you are searching for pushchairs & prams, it’s awfully important that you consider both your newborn’s requirements & your very own specific lifestyle. Pushchairs these days are being sold in lots of different styles and price ranges, and therefore without looking at the various options prior to you go shopping; the decisions can definitely become out of control.

First, you are instructed to understand your infant’s precise needs. For a newborn baby, you most likely will require a pushchair with a lie back feature or a pushchair/carrycot combination. If you need to you might perhaps buy a unit that has a reversible seat, which lets your toddler to face you whilst you’re pushing. You are also suggested to look at where your kid will generally sleep: a crib, carrycot, or Moses basket. If you intend to buy a carrycot, then you might well need to obtain a pushchair/carrycot combination to reduce the total amount of equipment you have to buy. Find a range of baby and child products including; puschairs, cotbeds and silvercross prams from leading brands online.

Next, you are suggested to examine your daily life. If you intend putting the pushchair in your car, measure the size of the boot to guarantee that the folded pushchair will fit perfectly. If you obtain one that is too big, you’ll be spending countless annoying minutes every single day fighting to wedge it in the car. Alternatively, you may think about a multi-function system, which merges a toddler car seat and pushchair. This multi function ability will certainly make it very easy for you to transfer your baby in the vehicle, then you can use the pushchair when you have parked, again lowering the number of accessory products you have to tow around with your child.

For parents who walk a great deal, it is essential that you purchase a strong pushchair that has lockable wheels as standard. Also think about the particular type of ground you will be pushing your baby over. For example, if you settle on swivel wheels, then the pushchair will be drastically easier to manoeuvre in tight circles, whereas fixed wheels will travel significantly easier over uneven ground. You can also select a pushchair that includes both fixed wheel and swivel wheel options, allowing you to adjust the wheels when demanded throughout your journeys. In spite of what selection you decide on make certain that the handle is at the suitable height. If you & your partner have quite different heights, then try to find a pushchair with a modifiable handle.

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